SUCH A SUCKER!!!

What can I say? Mom caved -- again.

Sprite is a "ZUCHON" (a mix between a Shih Tzu & Bichon)

BTW, Sprite earned her name from being so small (like a sprite)

And, yes Fiauna, I was totally inspired by your Sprightling Diaries! :-)

Faith vs. Fear

Quite a few years ago, after several years of apartment living, we rented a beautiful home. It had more space than any apartment my young family had ever enjoyed. A large backyard, a warm, open kitchen, a place for everything.

And Scorpions.

I am not talking about one or two scorpions… I mean an INFILTRATION of the vile creatures.

Almost daily we would see these quarter-sized monsters in OUR HOUSE. We would black light around the yard at night and find DOZENS of them. It was enough to drive a person insane.

Then I got stung on my finger. {OUCH}

The numbness traveled up my arm just like Poison Control said it would. Then after a few days began to settle in my finger, just like Poison Control promised. Dutifully, my finger obliged the laws of nature by remaining numb for two months.

Pretty crazy – especially coming from something I can squish with my shoe.

But what Poison Control failed to tell me, or perhaps they had no way of seeing into my dysfunctional psyche, is that every time (that would be EVERYTIME) I saw a scorpion after that, my victimized digit would throb at the sting site. My heart would race. And I would turn into a virtual maniac; stomping, crushing, grinding that thing into the carpet – all this while yelling at the unsuspecting pest why I was more powerful than it was.

Yeah. Pretty bad. You think I am kidding, but I am not.

I seriously went nuts when I saw those things. I felt violated, contaminated, overwhelmed and overcome by just a small little bug.

That’s a lot of emotional responsibility for an arachnid.

The point is {and it could very arguably be that I am a nut case} I was scared. Downright afraid of scorpions. My body would shudder each time I saw one and I would physically become sick. I vowed NEVER to live in a home again with scorpions.

But guess what? We live in the desert. And that is near impossible around here.

I never underestimated the blessing it was to have our lovely home in Mesa WITHOUT a single scorpion.

For a while we considered purchasing a home a few streets over from our Mesa home where, it was well known, there were MANY scorpions. The thought began to feed on the nerves of my Fight/Flight Response so fiercely I seriously felt I was having panic attacks. So, when the house turned out to NOT be the right thing for our family – I was completely OK with it. Renewing my strength of conviction, I vowed again, I would never knowingly purchase a home with Scorpions.

But I did. And I knew it.

Here is the funny thing with Fear. It can not exist at the same time as Faith. It is impossible.
One must give way to another. Where there is Faith, there will be no Fear. And visa versa.

So, what do I do when I feel like the Lord is directing our family to a home, but the neighborhood has scorpions (yes, I actually called MANY strangers in the neighborhood and asked). What do I do when I feel like it is time to leave my comfort zone of Mesa and venture to the Scorpion Territory of Gilbert?

I go.

I have to. I want to.

Now, I sit here tonight, attempting to balance the scales between Fear and Faith. And I am surprised, although I shouldn’t be, to find myself not hysterically scared about the eight-legged demons running around outside. (which thankfully there have been very few so far)

Am I still afraid of them? Sure. Will someone get stung? Maybe. Will I scream as I stomp one into the floor? Probably.

But, the difference is, I know Heavenly Father is looking out for me and my family. Whatever that is. Be it scorpion stings or worse. And I know by following Him, I will be happier than I could ever be otherwise. And that is why I am able to face my fear of scorpions.

(I still keep a black light by my bed though) :-)

To My Bloggy Friends

I have had SOOO much fun blogging. I treasure the friendships I have made. I value the stress release and emotional nurturing blogging brings for me. I had no idea when I started what a real, and separate, world blogging was.

I do still read your blogs. It is usually on my phone while waiting somewhere. I do think of you often. I am not commenting so much, because, well, that is just the evolution of blogging. And summer time lends little extra time for Mommy Stuff.

But, know I am here. I do think of you. I answer emails much better than blogs these days, so don't hesitate to email me. kathysblog(at)gmail(dot)com

Now... on to the real post...

I am really REALLY glad we aren't THAT far away...

Just exactly how is a person supposed to say good-bye? You would think after all the times I moved as a kid, I would have figured it out. Still, I sit here, thinking about all those who have touched my life the last eight years, and I realize that my “good-bye” was entirely inadequate.


As my mind reviews the past few years, I find myself smiling and crying from the memories of a loving neighborhood and ward. I see the Lord’s wisdom in directing us to such a place. And my heart fills with love for all those we physically left ten miles behind.


People who touched my life without even trying – or knowing it. From a Friend crying with me on my couch to Friends scrubbing my tile floor on hands and knees, I had people influence my life on a daily basis. From the Combined Singing Voices in church to the gentle guidance of Leaders, my heart was touched by people just trying to live righteously. Whether it was the Beat-The-Odds survivor or Laugh-at-Adversity Friend, I gained strength. I was often brought to tears by the Tender-hearted Huggers and humbled by the sincere comments of Little Ones.

Since I was a young child, I have heard how we are supposed to live our lives as Christ would. But in the last few years I have actually witnessed real people doing this very thing; doing all they can to be true disciples of Jesus Christ. Living as Witnesses to His Name and acting as instruments in His Hands. A person can’t help being affected by people like this.

And I certainly was affected. My life will never be the same. And I am so glad.

To all those who were a part of my everyday life over the last few years, I love you. I am so grateful the Lord brought you into my life. I hope I can apply all you have taught me over the last few years and lift those around me, as you have lifted me.

Now we are settling into our new home and I hope that you will not hesitate to pay a visit. I love you. We love you. Thank you.

Our New Home Sweet Home

One Dozen Birthdays

J has kept us on our toes from day one... and we have loved every moment of it. Jacob is huge on passion, huge on humor and huge on lovin'.

Today, J turns 12. I can't believe this boy with the big, blue imploring eyes is SOOOOO OLD! What happened to the little boy who used to put his hand on my cheek to tell me everything?

Happy Birthday J!!! I sure love you!!

Is it accepting limitations or just a really fancy excuse?

"One must from time to time attempt things that are beyond one's capacity."
~ Pierre-Auguste Renoir

Pierre-Auguste Renoir was one of the greatest painters of all time. He was revered and respected among the Art World. Many reflect on his ability to remain humble and happy inspite of great adversity.

What very few realize that in the last three decades of Renoir’s life, he was plagued with the debilitating disease of Rheumatoid Arthritis. His body became crippled and deformed, making simple daily tasks near impossible.

But the really cool part is that Renoir kept painting. He would have an assistant wedge the brush between his crippled fingers and wrap his hand to keep the brush there and prevent irritation.

This painting I found on Wikipedia was painted by Renoir, of himself, in 1910. Well into the advanced stages of arthritis. He painted it while he was in severe pain. He pushed himself saying, “The pain passes, but the beauty remains.”

So, do you think, at any given time, anyone would have respected Renoir less if he had said, “the price is too high, I am not going to paint anymore?”

If Renoir’s daily tasks were less creative, more mundane, would he have had just as much passion for it? Would he have kept going through the pain? And would anyone have blamed him?

People defy the odds all the time. Those who are never supposed to walk – run. Those who are supposed to succumb to cancer – rebel and live. Those who are told they should sit in the back of the bus – start a national movement. Those who are told they will never amount to anything – change the world by developing new scientific and mathematical theories. Those who are told they lack talent – create the most iconic amusement park and characters of all time.

But, if any of these people had said, “Oh, okay. You are right. I should accept my limitations and move on.” Would the world have cared?

At what point do we “give ourselves a break” and at what point do we say, “Suck it up and keep going.” When is it accepting limitations and when is it just making excuses?

Let’s say there are two victims of childhood abuse. One victim says, “I am the way I am because of what happened. I will always be like this. I will always need that.” The other says, “Well, life is rough. Too bad. Now I am going on with my life, changing things I don’t like.”

Which one is right?

If you accept limitations are you only making excuses for what you don’t really want to do in the first place? Are you giving up, selling out?

If you ignore your limitations, seek to change things beyond your control, are you being realistic?

What if you heart echoes the words of Renoir but your body and your psyche refuse to comply? How do you resolve the ever present conflict in your soul?

Just some food for thought. I am interested in what you all have to say.

Life in the desert...

This afternoon, I got in my car. The car temperature gauge read 120 DEGREES.

Tonight, at 9:30 PM, it was 108 DEGREES!

Still not believing it, I checked the weather online... (they only registered 102 @ 9:30) And I saw this:

Excessive Heat Warning for Greater Phoenix Area, AZ
until 8 pm MST, Tue., Jul. 14, 2009

Now remind me... Just WHY do I live in this place???

Oh yeah -- family. That's right. We kinda like them. Boy, they must be a heckuva crew to keep me here with all the blazing rays and scorpions!!!

Happy Birthday Mr. T!

T is SEVEN today!!! I can't believe it.

I still remember T's birthday vividly. Maybe it is because the cord was quadruple wrapped around his little neck. Maybe because the Doctor shrugged in desperation of not knowing how to get this little person out of me without serious consequences. Maybe its because I never felt the worry, only a divine urge to do what I needed to -- not what I was being told to do. And here he is.

Not too bad for not breathing and being completely blue when he was born.

My Little T.

This is T's favorite picture...

T had this great habit of always falling asleep while he was playing. This first picture is in a closet. We were in the middle of a remodel (thus my dress hanging in the way) T had gone into his closet to hide from the workers because he was embarassed he had colored all over himself with markers. After frantically looking all over for him, I found him here...

Happy Birthday Kiddo!!! I sure love you!

(BTW, in case you couldn't figure it out, I couldn't decide which pictures to use... I still have so many cute ones left! Curse those digital cameras -- no don't curse them. I love them In fact I got my very first digital camera right before T was born... that's why I have so many more photos of him as a baby... okay, enough blabbing!)

Creative Avoidance

I should be packing... really I should.
But B got invited to her very first birthday party (Saturday).
And it has a fairy princess theme.
And she gets to dress up.
So, instead of packing, I made this today.
Did I ever mention I love having a little girl???

Midnight Musings

I have a couple stories on my mind tonight…

First story is from the Bible. Moses. Who doesn’t love this story? Moses rescued by Pharaoh’s own daughter, raised by her, in Pharaoh’s own house. Later, he had to confront Pharaoh – whom he must have personally known– commanding him to set all his slaves (and probably his livelihood) free. Talk about family issues… I can’t even imagine how difficult this would have been. And yet, even though Pharaoh said no, and no way, and not a chance… Moses didn’t give up. You know the rest of the story, Moses kept at it. Sure of himself that he was doing the Lord’s errand. He was doing the right thing. And eventually, the Israelites were freed. But still not without opposition, in the form of an ocean!! I don’t remember anywhere in the story where Moses doubted his duty or what he needed to do. He just did it. And when he hit a road block, he used his faith to call down the Powers of Heaven. It was as simple as that.

Second story is from the Book of Mormon. For those who aren’t familiar, this is a religious record of the people in the America’s… from long ago. One of the prophets in the Book of Mormon is named Nephi. It is his story I am thinking about tonight as well. Nephi and his family escape Jerusalem, his father being a prophet who was being sought by King Laban. Before they traveled over to the “Promised Land" (the Americas) God asks Nephi's father, Lehi, to send his sons back to get the sacred record kept by the king. Nephi readily agrees, because it is the right thing to do. His brothers? Not so much. In fact, they give Nephi quite a hard time about it. At one point nearly killing him. But Nephi never doubted what he was supposed to do. After one failed attempt, he thought of another plan. Then after that failed attempt, he thought of another. Until, on the third try, he did as the Lord had asked, and retrieved the sacred record.

So here is my question… my thought. How do these men NOT doubt what they are supposed to do? Granted, they were prophets and had a pretty clear connection to God, but still...

Bringing these scripture stories into my life, and applying them to my current circumstances, how do I get that kind of faith? The kind where I know, 110% what I need to be doing and nothing, no road block, will keep me from that.

Sure, there are some things that it is automatic for… defending my God, my family, my religion. Adhering to covenants I have made, etc.

But what about a choice between two good things. What about when you have made a heart wrenching decision to leave those you love and move with your family to a new home? When a road block comes, how do I not doubt myself? With any decision, for that matter, how do I not doubt myself?

I know a few things. And one, for sure, is that God is in charge of our lives. And another, is that He knows who I am and what I need. I just really wish I could see the big picture right now.

So, tonight, our new home sits in limbo. And I am trying to figure out in my mind, what on earth is going on. But there is a quiet feeling, deep in my heart, that gives me peace. The peace of knowing the Lord is in charge.

My all time favorite quote is from one of the Prophets of our church President Harold B. Lee: “By faith in God you can be attuned to the Infinite and by power and wisdom obtained from your Heavenly Father harness the powers of the universe to serve you in your hour of need in the solution of problems too great for your human strength or intelligence” (Church News, 15 Aug. 1970, p. 2).

Because I can't make this stuff up...

I have to send you to hubby's site for a chuckle...

This is great! I only wish I had heard it so I could have blogged it myself...

Click here

Fourth of July done right!

We had a wonderful July 4th today. Thanks to the efforts of some terrific neighbors. A couple of ladies in our subdivision organized the First Annual July 4th Parade & Celebration. It was a wonderful morning!

After the bike parade, there was a bubble gum blowing contest, tug-o-war, pie eating contest, watermelon seed spitting contest and of course, a three legged race. It was two hours of good ole' home town fun, right in the middle of suburbia. I loved it.

However, I don't care if I am native to this desert, I will never get used to the heat!! In spite of the heat, everyone seemed to have loads of fun!

At any rate, we made some great memories! (Definitely will have to sneak back for next years celebration)

Enjoy the slide show...



Oh yeah, I also discovered (AGAIN) there is so much more to being a photographer than having a good camera! Evidently if you are going to put the camera on MANUAL you have to actually know what your doing -- ugh! It made me sick. I had this perfect opportunity for amazing photos and instead I delivered grainy photos with exposure spots -- still learning. Sorry guys!

At the Movies!

I took the kids to see Ice Age today. I had some free passes so we grabbed a couple extra kids and started out for an adventure. I had it all planned out. Who was going to be whose buddy. How to keep everyone happy.

And it worked. Surprisingly.

The experience made me acutely aware of a few things.

Movie snack pricing. Ridiculous! I have purchased snacks from the awkward teenagers behind the concession counter before. And, I guess, when you are just buying one or two things, it isn’t so bad. But when you have a van full of kids, there is only one way to go. And that would be Wal-Mart. I got a truck load of movie candy and drinks for the gang for about the same cost of a popcorn, a soda and some Junior Mints at the movie theater. By dividing them into little sandwich baggies, everyone got a yummy variety of snacks, all their own.

OK, but that brings us to the next issue. Getting the snacks INSIDE the theater. Now, I have never seen any written rule about taking snacks into a theater. It’s not on the tickets, the windows, or the doors – at least not that I have noticed. (maybe I just don’t want to notice, and please don’t burst my bubble.) And still, I always feel like I need to hide any snacks I might take into a movie. The kids ask, “Are we going to sneak the food in.” Since I have never gotten a clear cut answer on this, I tell them, “Of course not. I am just going to put some food in my purse. And my purse goes with me.” Makes sense. So why do I feel like I need to watch out for the Movie Police while I buy my tickets? Why do I breathe a sigh of relief when the lights go down and people can’t tell I have Wal-Mart candy? Oh, and by the way, I want to thank my little sis for getting me hooked on BIG purses. So what if I can never find my keys, do you have any idea what kinds of things you can carry in those things? Today, I had to take out the screwdriver and flashlight so I could fit in 9 small Gatorade bottles and home-made snack packs… it did look a little full. But – who knows – maybe I am just a high maintenance sort of gal.

Lastly, no matter how well you plan. No matter how you coach the kids to behave. No matter how many snacks you have or bathroom trips you avoid, nothing can keep That Person from sitting behind you. (Oh, and I really hope you are not That Person) You know who I am talking about.

She gasps, exclaims, roars with laughter… and then the movie starts.

She reads EVERY word that comes across the screen from the previews to the credits. She comments on EVERY twist and turn in the movie (c’mon lady, this was ICE AGE)

She analyzes EVERY climax, sympathizes with EVERY character. She tells the theater crowd what is funny. What is sad. What is surprising.

At several points throughout the film, I really wanted to take my Wal-Mart candy and smack it over this lady’s head. I wanted to spill her Theater Popcorn and knock her over in her seat. I wanted to run and tell the manager – who I knew and who would listen to me – about That Person. But I didn’t and you know why? Because the infernal woman was having SO. MUCH. FUN.

At Ice Age.

And who am I to mess up someone’s fun? I mean really, would wrecking her day make Ice Age any better for me? I didn’t think so. In fact, her consistent commentary became quite amusing. Especially when the toddlers in our group began mimicking everything she said.

Can you tell me how I could go to the movie with EIGHT children and still be quieter than the one woman seated directly behind me?

Who knows?!

At any rate, good overcame evil. The kids had fun. And we even threw away every spot of our Wal-Mart Candy Trash.

His Watchful Eye

I sit here this morning, grateful for Heavenly Father’s watchful eye.

Yesterday we had a couple strangers filter through our neighborhood. In the middle of the day. While I was gone and the kids were home alone.

I was on an errand with S and J was left home babysitting B & T. R was at his cousin’s house and I was going to be back within 1 ½ hours.

I got a call from J saying that some man was wandering around our yard. He described his appearance which I didn’t recognize. I immediately called my Angel Neighbor to check on the situation and headed home.

By the time I arrived home a short time later, the puzzle pieces were falling into place. This man, and a friend (or two), had already visited a few neighbors; asking them for money and at one point removing gas cans from a neighbors open garage. His story was he needed gas money.

R had been coming home with his cousin when they saw this man entering our backyard. The man asked if his parents were home and told R he needed money. The boys quickly went inside and told J who in turned called me. The police had been called out by another neighbor and they were able to arrest this man and his friend.

The police didn’t believe his story; saying the men were “Up to no good.”

R had to give an official report and even got to ride in the police car to go ID the man. Several of the neighbors, including myself, pressed charges for trespassing.

Maybe he was telling the truth. Maybe he really needed money for gas. But he didn’t need to look for it in my back yard, the neighbor’s garage or ask a 10 year old for money. It just isn’t a good idea. If I knew this man really needed help, and I was home, I could have called someone to help him. But what he was doing was wrong and I felt it jeopardized the safety of my children.

I am SO grateful nothing worse happened. I am SO grateful my children were safe and knew what to do. I am SO grateful for His Watchful Eye.