At the Movies!

I took the kids to see Ice Age today. I had some free passes so we grabbed a couple extra kids and started out for an adventure. I had it all planned out. Who was going to be whose buddy. How to keep everyone happy.

And it worked. Surprisingly.

The experience made me acutely aware of a few things.

Movie snack pricing. Ridiculous! I have purchased snacks from the awkward teenagers behind the concession counter before. And, I guess, when you are just buying one or two things, it isn’t so bad. But when you have a van full of kids, there is only one way to go. And that would be Wal-Mart. I got a truck load of movie candy and drinks for the gang for about the same cost of a popcorn, a soda and some Junior Mints at the movie theater. By dividing them into little sandwich baggies, everyone got a yummy variety of snacks, all their own.

OK, but that brings us to the next issue. Getting the snacks INSIDE the theater. Now, I have never seen any written rule about taking snacks into a theater. It’s not on the tickets, the windows, or the doors – at least not that I have noticed. (maybe I just don’t want to notice, and please don’t burst my bubble.) And still, I always feel like I need to hide any snacks I might take into a movie. The kids ask, “Are we going to sneak the food in.” Since I have never gotten a clear cut answer on this, I tell them, “Of course not. I am just going to put some food in my purse. And my purse goes with me.” Makes sense. So why do I feel like I need to watch out for the Movie Police while I buy my tickets? Why do I breathe a sigh of relief when the lights go down and people can’t tell I have Wal-Mart candy? Oh, and by the way, I want to thank my little sis for getting me hooked on BIG purses. So what if I can never find my keys, do you have any idea what kinds of things you can carry in those things? Today, I had to take out the screwdriver and flashlight so I could fit in 9 small Gatorade bottles and home-made snack packs… it did look a little full. But – who knows – maybe I am just a high maintenance sort of gal.

Lastly, no matter how well you plan. No matter how you coach the kids to behave. No matter how many snacks you have or bathroom trips you avoid, nothing can keep That Person from sitting behind you. (Oh, and I really hope you are not That Person) You know who I am talking about.

She gasps, exclaims, roars with laughter… and then the movie starts.

She reads EVERY word that comes across the screen from the previews to the credits. She comments on EVERY twist and turn in the movie (c’mon lady, this was ICE AGE)

She analyzes EVERY climax, sympathizes with EVERY character. She tells the theater crowd what is funny. What is sad. What is surprising.

At several points throughout the film, I really wanted to take my Wal-Mart candy and smack it over this lady’s head. I wanted to spill her Theater Popcorn and knock her over in her seat. I wanted to run and tell the manager – who I knew and who would listen to me – about That Person. But I didn’t and you know why? Because the infernal woman was having SO. MUCH. FUN.

At Ice Age.

And who am I to mess up someone’s fun? I mean really, would wrecking her day make Ice Age any better for me? I didn’t think so. In fact, her consistent commentary became quite amusing. Especially when the toddlers in our group began mimicking everything she said.

Can you tell me how I could go to the movie with EIGHT children and still be quieter than the one woman seated directly behind me?

Who knows?!

At any rate, good overcame evil. The kids had fun. And we even threw away every spot of our Wal-Mart Candy Trash.