Trick or Treat

This is our first Halloween with a full-fledged teenager. 13. So, this is the first year we have had the "why-can't-I-go-trick-or-treating-with-my-friends" discussion.

This isn't a discussion that a parent can win. I mean, really, what do you do when the gang is going Trick or Treating and you are trying to tell your son he is too old. We didn't let him go. And even though we gave him more candy than he could ever gather himself, he was pretty bummed.

In my opinion, once their voice changes and they are shaving, they shouldn't be out begging for candy. The problem is, that is when it gets fun. That is when you are old enough to not have to be weighed down by your old, embarrassing parents. That is when you can get your fill on all the tasty sugars you are never allowed to have -- and actually eat them before you get home -- thus limiting what you have to share with your siblings.

But I have a thorn in my side with teenagers who ring the doorbell then just thrust a BACKPACK (already overflowing with goods) in your face. Rarely a thank you. Half the time they aren't even in costume... just out for candy. Seriously, R answered the door for one such group. I heard what sounded like a man "Hey, trick or treat, dude." "How about some more, dude."

Isn't there an age limit here? I think it is so much cuter to see all the little kids, so expectantly traveling from door to door. Halloween is for the little ones. Not the puberty ridden folks.

Of course there are the sweet teenagers, which my son definitely falls in with, to whom I don't mind dishing out the candy. But somewhere along the line, we have to say, "you are too old to go trick or treating."

How old is too old for this Halloween Tradition? What do you think? Should trick or treating be limited to the younger crowd?

THANKFUL

Today I feel especially thankful. I have good many blessings in my life and often I am amazed at the Lord’s show of love. Today is one of those days.

I am thankful for a good husband. For a man who loves the Lord and loves his family. I am thankful for his gentle prodding to help me be a better person and his unconditional love for when I am not. I am thankful for his steady nature and calming personality. I am thankful he honors the covenants we made together and those he made personally with the Lord.

I am thankful for the Priesthood. To have the power of God on the earth today is truly a miracle. In a world where evil overshadows good and religion is often a taboo, the Holy Priesthood gives a divine stability to this crazy place. I am grateful that Heavenly Father has seen fit to trust honorable men with that power. I am thankful for its influence on my life. When I receive a blessing, by the power of the priesthood, I believe it. I know the Lord has spoken. I am so grateful for that.

I am thankful for my children. Thankful that they are still young enough to want me to go on fieldtrips with them. Concerned enough to “check in on me”. Happy enough to want to play. I am thankful for the sleepy eyes at bedtime. The warm hugs in the morning. I am thankful for their giggles, their smiles and even their tears. I am thankful I have 5 reminders of why I need to get up every morning and be the best I can be. Even when it is hard.

I am grateful for friends and family that create a strong support group. Even though pride may often get in the way of me calling on any one of these wonderful people, knowing that they are there gives me strength. I am grateful for the thoughts and prayers my friends have sent my way. I am grateful for the not one, but TWO meals my dear friend brought over to my home (in spite of my objections) I am grateful for the feeling of unity I feel with those in my neighborhood. For their example, for their goodness. I am thankful for their smiles, waves and kind words. It lifts me up and makes me want to be a better person. I am grateful for these great people the Lord has put in my life!

I am grateful for modern medicine. I know it isn’t an exact science. I know bad things happen and sometimes it can’t help. But for me, today, it did. I am thankful that, in spite of its Dr. Frankenstein description, my procedure I had today was not as bad as I thought. I am thankful my doctor gave me a little extra sedation. I am thankful I didn’t see the needle they had to use today. I am thankful for the kind nurse who noticed I was a little nervous and took time to explain it wasn’t so bad. Thankful my husband could stay home so I could rest. I am thankful that, even though I am sore from the procedure, my regular pain (on the side they worked on today) is practically gone.

Whether I am having an epidural, a couple Percocet, or like today, Nerve Ablation, I always get a little emotional when the pain dissipates. But, I truly am thankful today. Thankful that I have three down and only one more to go!

Fun Children's Books

I love books. I could spend forever in a bookstore. I am a succor for almost any book with a story, especially classics. That doesn't mean I read them all, I just love how they smell, how they look. I love having a book to read. Unfortunately, my reading time is cut down to short intervals these days -- but the trade off of having my sweet little ones is OK by me. I just transfer my love of books to their genre...

I came across this delightful book at the zoo of all places. B and T loved it. I loved the vocabulary! It didn't dumb anything down for the kids, but still made it such a fun book for them to read. The illustrations were perfect. B loves to point out everything on the pages, the book has come alive for her.

Because we all loved this book so much, I went to the library to check out more from this author, Karma Wilson. There were a lot of books and each one was fun to read. Some more than others.

But then I came across her "Bear" books. There are six in the series and I checked out a few. They are so cute! The story itself is cute, she uses a lot of alliteration and great language like:

"An itty-bitty mouse, pitter-pat, tip-toe, creep-crawls in the cave from the fluff-cold snow."

The books are so fun to read and this particular illustrator she teamed up with is fantastic. The pages are bright and detailed, playing off the text.

B is 2 and LOVES these books. T, six, who is learning how to read was so excited to see that there were many words he knew. He had to take the book when I was done and read it... he read himself to sleep. I loved hearing him read a REAL book! I am definitely adding these to my library, they are so great for kids.

Fevers, Puppy Love and Tinkerbell

Tomorrow is our ward Halloween party. T, who is SO excited to go, just came down with a fever tonight. Poor guy, getting sick for Halloween. Hopefully he will be well by Friday, otherwise the Halloween world will be short one jedi/sythe/cape-guy-with lightsaber.

One of my boys has his first real crush. I think it is so cute. My other boys have had girls that get them to smile, but it is different for this son. Up until this adorable girl moved in a couple months ago, he had NO interest what so ever in girls. Ewww. Gross. But suddenly, he can’t go a day without saying her name. And when he says her name he slows down his speech, his eyes light up, and he tries to hide his smile. It is the cutest thing I have seen.

B has a thing for Tinkerbell. She loves dressing in her Tinkerbell costume and gets so excited if she ever sees her. So today we rented the new Tinkerbell Movie, thinking she would be in heaven with a WHOLE movie of Tinkerbell. When her brothers got home, they retrieved the movie from our mailbox (Netflix) and started it for her. (just to be clear, S was still at school) She seemed intrigued – for about 37 seconds. Then she was off. She had other things to do. Swing. Slide. You know, the really important stuff. And that is fine, I would much rather her play outside than watch a movie. But the real kicker to this story is that I couldn’t pry her brothers AWAY from the Tinkerbell movie. In fact, B tried turning off the TV so they couldn’t watch it and they ALL freaked out. So, while my little girl played outside, her brothers sat inside, glued to a movie about fairies.

FREE FAMILY PHOTOS!

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You really think there is someone brave enough to photograph my family? We have stories... stories that will make you cringe. Shaved eyebrows, overturned tables, fighting children, crying children, crying photographers (ok not really, but almost)... the whole bit. Stay tuned to find out if I can add this to my photo stories...

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Scared out of my mind!

Warning: This post is ridiculously long. It can be filed in the “Too Much Information” file and the “Yuck” file. I wasn’t going to post it for that reason, but this is all I have been thinking about lately, so here it is, the story of my ailing back. This post is also subject to removal once I come to my senses.

Everyone seems to have their own challenges to bear. Once of mine is my back. It’s hard to say when the trouble began, some think it was due to a full pregnancy with a little one pinching my sciatic nerve the whole time. It was a little after S was born that trouble began. But it wasn’t so bad. After R, I did some physical therapy, got it into great shape and was feeling great. Somewhere along the line, in my pregnancy with T, things just shut down. Muscles stopped responding, signals weren’t being sent (think bladder)… it was like I was broken. I was able to regain control over some things, but even after 6 weeks of trying daily to do a sit up, I could only muster one – barely. The muscles in my stomach had been fried somehow and just didn’t want to respond. Anyone who has had a decent amount of back pain, knows that a lot of it is caused from not having enough abdominal support – as in your stomach muscles are weak. It was during this time that I decided to move some furniture around and POP! 4 discs bulged.
The problem was, I was moving furniture out of the way so Ashley Furniture could deliver our bed set. My husband, who was moving it with me, didn’t know what to do with me. I was stuck right in the middle of the doorway, couldn’t move an inch. All I could think about was getting out of the way of those delivery guys, how embarrassing would that be if they saw me on the floor. What would my husband say to them? “Just set the bed on the floor, over there, by the crazy lady.”? I talked Hubby into dragging me (literally) into the closet (it wasn’t like I would be going down stairs and that was the only place with carpet that was out of the way) With the delivery guys knocking at the door, my DH dragged me into the closet, sent S in there to sit with me and let the Ashley guys in. I could hear them the whole time as they set up our bedroom set. I just kept hoping they didn’t know I was in the closet right by them. S kept making me laugh and J found his way in to the closet to tell me he was sorry he “stepped on a crack” that day. Once the bed was set up, hubby had to call his brother in law to come move me onto the bed. Talk about humiliating! I have never felt every pound of mine as I did then, with two grown men trying to heft me up onto the bed… The rest is pretty much history. I have been struggling with this silly back of mine ever since.
I have tried everything I can think of. Massage, physical therapy, injections, chiropractic, personal training, and the list goes on. Everything gets me to a functioning level, and then plateaus… eventually reverting back to a painful state. I had high hopes this last go around with this amazing chiropractor, but the end result was the same. After a couple months of doing great, my back is as bad as ever. Evidently, I now have a touch of arthritis in some joints along with the bulging discs. Makes me sound old, doesn’t it?
So, now what? Ever heard of a Pain Institute? I am beginning to think they call them that because they inflict pain, not fix it.
The last two weeks I have had what is called a Medial Branch Block. It is a diagnostic injection to see if the real treatment will work on you. You have to have two of them. They say this is “no big deal” and “nearly painless”. I, naïve as ever, believed them and went in the first time thinking they were right in their description. Boy, was I ever a fool! I have never experienced anything so horrible. Even childbirth, with all its pain and suffering, doesn’t compare. With childbirth, you at least have a goal, a prize at the end of the relay, something to hold and say “I did it.” With this? Nothing. Nothing but needles and a cold room. You are awake the whole time so they can determine how much relief you are getting. I turned into a blubbering idiot. The doctor kept telling me to hold still, but all I could do was throw up. I kept going in and out of coherency. I am sure if I had been sitting up, I would have passed out. My whole body felt like it was on fire. It was so painful. I was definitely NOT prepared for this “virtually pain free” procedure.
I was a crazy wreck getting ready for the next one. But, I wasn’t going to be unprepared. I got a blessing from my husband this time. I am SO grateful for the comforting power of the priesthood. When he laid his hands on my head and began the blessing, all nervousness left. I was able to calm down and think clearly. I got my IPod and set it to my favorite relaxing music. The staff thought I was a little weird for bringing in my music, and maybe I was, but it sure did help. I was able to focus on the words of the blessing and the music. It took a lot of effort, but I definitely felt the arms of the Lord surrounding me. I was able to get through the procedure without one tear, without throwing up or passing out. It wasn’t pleasant by any means and still took a couple days for me to feel back to normal (even though they said it wouldn’t affect me that way) but I didn’t lose it!
They have determined that these Medial Branch Blocks were effective enough to warrant the “real” procedure. I wasn’t too worried about this because they said I could be sedated. Whew! Anything to not feel that again.
It is called Radio Frequency Nerve Ablation. It is as if they have taken this straight from a science fiction movie… no kidding. Oh yeah, and their term “sedate” doesn’t mean “asleep.” I have to be awake during the whole thing so I can tell them what I am feeling. I will only be “relaxed.”
Using X-Ray guidance, a probe will be placed into the offending part of my spine. Once the probe is in place, it will be used to stimulate the area in an attempt to reproduce the usual pain. The motor nerves will also be stimulated to see if they can get the muscles to contract. I am supposed to communicate with them how I am feeling (that really doesn’t sound good, think “Princess Bride”) Once they have determined correct placement of the probe, they will connect the probe to low voltage electricity. This will heat up and destroy the nerves. It should give me relief for up to 18 months (in which time I am supposed to use strengthening my ab muscles and back) once I recover.
For this procedure, they say it is LIKELY I will feel some pain and discomfort for a few days. OK – do you see a problem here?? The one they said was pain free nearly cost me my sanity. It was SO painful. Now, if this one is SUPPOSED to be painful, what the heck am I getting myself into? Oh yeah – and I have to do it TWICE!!! This Thursday and next. So, if you see me wobbling around on Friday, you will know why.
I just don’t know if I have enough faith to not be scared of this one… it sounds awful. Something about being strapped on a table, half awake, unable to make it all stop when it begins, I don’t know. It took everything I had in me to get through the last one. I just don’t know if I can do this one. It is more than a little scary to me.
So, there is my story, whether you wanted it or not…

Looking for Jacob Schwindt

Have you ever been so close to something that you can almost feel it, but yet it still remains out of reach?

Jacob Schwindt is my Great Great Grandfather on my mothers side. I have very little information on his family. I know he was born in Prussia, but am not certain as to the exact location. I have a birth date of Oct 18, 1818 but I am not certain that is accurate. Jacob was a shoemaker by trade and immigrated to Wisconsin with his young family in the 1850's. I have hit brick wall after brick wall. I need to find his exact birthplace so I can find his family.

So why am I posting this here? Because someone, sometime, is going to google Jacob Schwindt and, because there isn't much out there on this guy, be led to this blog. Then maybe clues can be pieced together and we can find this family together. Got to try everything right?

Sleepless Nights

What do you do when you have a child that, no matter what you do will not keep their pants dry at night? I am not talking about a 3 year old here, I am talking a 10, 8 and 5 year old. Yes, I had three children that could not keep their pants dry. We would take them to the bathroom before we went to bed, and they would still wet. We would limit their drinks. Still wet. We tried about everything.

With three kids wetting several times a night, laundry was a beast! I finally put aside my fear that this silly little alarm would scare my children, and bought two of them. They are not cheap, but I figured I would recoup the cost in savings on laundry. We used the alarm for the 10 and 8 year old. It worked like a charm on the older one, but the younger one -- not so much. We gave up for a while and now we are back at it. But now my 8 year old is 9 and my 5 year old is 6.

We have made temporary beds outside our bedroom door so we can get up easily to help them during the night. We have had a few long nights... Have you ever heard one of these things go off? They are horrible. They vibrate, flash and let off a siren (you can choose one of 8 siren sounds)

Anyway, it is now working pretty well for my 9 year old. But my 6 year old is having a crazy time of it. This thing sounds off so loudly, you can hear it in several rooms in the house, and yet, he sleeps deeply through it. When I try to wake him, he gets SO mad... talk about grumpy. I suppose I could wait until he really wants to stay dry then try again at that time. But if he is anything like my other boys he will be 9 or 10. I really don't think I can deal with three more years of smelly pullups in the trash and extra laundry because they leaked.

So, as we head into this 7th night of "Potty Alarm Madness", I can only hope for a full night of siren free sleep. Wish us luck!

If you want more information on these (don't worry, I am not selling them) or you just want to hear the horrible noise they make (scaled down a few decibels) follow this link.

Do I dare?

OK -- With the Elections only a couple weeks away, I am really torn. Here is my run down of my opinion of the candidates.

You have Barak Hussain Obama II. Socialist, oops I mean Democrat. Looks like a nice enough guy. I could probably sit down at Famous Dave's with him and enjoy a plethora of fattening foods, slathered in sticky sauce, served on a garbage can lid. And it would be really cool to have a black president. This would be poetic justice for all the wrongs done to African Americans over the years. However, I SO don't agree with his politics. I see it as a "dumbed down" version of socialism. I don't like the Robinhood approach to taking care of the nation. I think there are better answers. I don't believe he really loves his country, I think he would approve partial term abortions and I believe he would sanction same sex marriage. I couldn't vote for him in good conscience. Now, I have many friends and loved ones who would, and that is fine. We each have to vote for who we feel is best. That brings me to the next option.

John Sidney McCain III. Republican. We all know, boy do we all know, he has served and sacrificed for his country. While that is admirable, rubbing it in our face all the time is getting old. I really liked him 8 years ago, but now he reminds me of the movie "Weekend at Bernie's". You know the one, where the dead guy is carted around, made to look alive. I mean, sometimes I wonder how much time this poor guy has left. He also looks a little grouchy. He might let me be his waitress at Ruth Cris' Stake House, but only if I promise not to talk to him or spill anything. I think he is more likely to oppose same sex marriage and partial term abortion, but I am not convinced that he wouldn't sway his vote under pressure. I am not convinced he is in charge of his own campaign and policies. I am so unimpressed with him.

So what do I do? With the electoral college being set up the way it is, presidents are not elected by a popular vote. McCain is leading in Arizona. If he wasn't, he REALLY wouldn't stand a chance against Obama. But, McCain's lead in Arizona and Utah is sufficient enough to assume he will get the vote from the electoral college. So, with that in mind.... would my vote for him or against him really count? I am also voting by mail and those are actually counted AFTER the results of the election are announced (most times). So seriously, would my vote really matter? I am considering writing in a more preferred candidate, one I can agree with. Do I dare? Maybe this guy?

Yesterday a mermaid... today a cowboy!

So, after lunch today, I was passing by our garage-turned-family-room and caught B in the middle of pretending. I have no idea where she thought this one up... but I couldn't resist putting it here...

YIPHAW!!

10 things that I have learned (or re-learned) today...

• The Arizona desert isn’t really so bad. Of course, I am only saying this because we have finally dropped into the 70’s – barely. But with the kids able to play outdoors without getting heat exhaustion and me able to keep our doors open… it makes me remember that Arizona Fall is beautiful!
• Ball point pen is not a good accent to a new couch.
• FaceBook is a new kind of creative avoidance… So many things to do there and yet I get nothing done. It’s kind of like the “Wal-Mart Stupor” one drifts into.
• When a child begs “please, please, please!!! Can I have a friend over?", it is more than likely his creative avoidance from homework.
• My two year old thinks she is a mermaid. At least today.
• Never believe a doctor when he says “this is no big deal.” More than likely, this doctor has never undergone the treatment he will be delivering to you, so he really doesn’t know if it will be a big deal or not.
• Children can (and do) bounce off of big screen TV’s. No, I didn’t throw them… they did this on their own accord.
• I really have some wonderful friends and family. I am blessed with a strong support system. This will definitely come in handy when I lose my mind.
• My husband is REALLY cute!
• In & Out Burger really can solve all problems. My only regret is that I didn’t discover this treat sooner. Why did I have to have my first burger during the time in life when it actually STAYS on my hips?
  

A Weighty Issue

I was 20 when I worked as a hostess at Shoney’s. I loved the job and I got a free lunch every day. It was great for my budget while in college… skip breakfast, HUGE free lunch from the salad bar and a small dinner (usually just a little rice). My grocery bill was very low.

One day, as I was piling onto my plate, the usual salad bar items, my boss said, “You’re not going to keep that waist line if you keep eating like that.” I just smiled and poured on the ranch dressing, confident in the fact that not only did he not know my secret diet; he had no idea who he was talking to. I never gained weight. I was a whopping 115 lbs and could snarf down an entire pizza without reaching 116. Although I didn’t exercise, I didn’t lead a sedentary life, so I never worried about my weight. Some of, if not all, my high metabolism could be attributed to the food I was raised on. Even after my first baby, I was able to slip into my pre-pregnancy jeans with little effort, creating a false sense of security. Little did I know that the days of using my belly as a table would become all too frequent – and not because I was pregnant.

Flash forward 16 years, as I rest this “laptop” on my ever growing, non-pregnant belly, I realize things have changed. Sure I may have walked 147 miles last week on vacation – it still didn’t outweigh the food I ate and I managed to gain 10 pounds (in a week!!!) Maybe it was all the popcorn.

I have been prone to back problems for a few years now – ever since S was born. But, it has become increasingly worse and is constantly interfering with my life. So, today, I went to see yet another specialist and guess what? He told me, among other things, to lose weight!!!

Have you ever seen a movie or show where time and sound moves in warped, slow motion while the world is still spinning at high speed. It was like that… The words seem to come out of the doctor’s mouth at a morbidly slow pace. And, while I tried very hard to listen to the important stuff about my back, I just kept hearing those stupid words over and over in my head. “When you lose weight…”

WHAT??? For months now, I have ignored the fact that I no longer fit into normal size cloths. I have blamed my bulging belly on my bulging disks (can’t fix one until the other is fixed, right?) I have looked away from the double chin and dismissed the fact that I get stuck on the kids slide. But now, I have it on good authority, I need to drop some pounds. I can’t ignore it anymore.

The thing is, I hate, Hate, HATE what society does to women about weight issues. It shouldn’t be about weight, it should be about feeling good. But the plain, ugly truth is that when you are overweight, there are often problems that come from that – say… back pain. I have known too many people that feel awful about themselves because of their weight. We are failing in society if we place worth on how much a person weighs or how someone looks. I am blessed enough to have a circle of friends that don’t seem to care about my fabulous frump. But not everyone is so lucky. They measure themselves on those stupid standardized charts saying they should fit into a particular group and then feel like left- over pea soup when they don’t fall into the right category.

I think those things are bogus… how can a standardized chart tell me, with a body so different as everyone else, what I am supposed to weigh? It just isn’t right. Still, there are some valid measures out there, and even by those standards, I have some work to do.

Ugggh, I just don’t have the time, desire or discipline for this. But, now I can’t ignore it…

Safe

I remember when I was little, waking up with a terrible dream. It was pretty scary too, something about Aliens that looked like Strawberry Shortcake landing in cupcake houses. I was seriously terrified! My mom was out of town and so I went to my dad, crawled into bed next to him and suddenly I was safe. The dream couldn’t reach me there. Somehow, my poor dad, in the middle of the night, made all fear from it vanish.

Why is that? Why is it that children are so comforted by their parents? R came into our room a couple weeks ago for the same reason. He rarely gets out of bed during the night, so I knew this was something difficult for him. His body was shaking from fear and he couldn’t talk. I let him cuddle up between hubby and me and soon, he drifted into a deep sleep.

When B gets frightened in a new situation, she clings to her mommy or daddy. When T hurts himself at school, he wants his parents. When lights are going out at night, J needs to be tucked in safely by both of us. And even S finds his comfort in knowing mom and dad are close by (although his chance of admitting it is slim)

The funny thing is, is that I feel just like a big kid. I don’t know that I can really protect them from the lightning and thunder outside. Sometimes, I get scared too. Somehow, they don’t know all that. My children think that just by holding my hand while they sleep, nightmares are going to be warded off. When they are sick, there is no medicine as powerful as the arms of a loving parent. Sometimes mom. Sometimes dad. We have different roles for soothing the troubled heart and I don’t know quite how the child determines who is going to offer the most effective balm.

I love to watch little children interact with their parents. Who do they want when a stranger approaches? Who do they go to when they are hurt? It’s us, the parents. I watch as their little heads burry into the shoulder of a loving father. I watch how a mother assures the toddler that his “owie” will heal. I love to watch the smiles on the child’s faces as they touch their daddy’s whiskers or stroke their mommy’s face. I love watching the feeling of safety as it manifests itself in a child’s eyes.

Isn’t this the coolest position to be in? Isn’t it the best thing ever? Somehow, Heavenly Father made it so these sweet little beings feel safe with a tender touch of a loving parent. Somehow, my kissing a wounded finger really does make it feel better. Somehow, a warm hug from daddy really makes the scary sounds not so bad. I love that. I love that I can give that to my children. It is one of the most sacred responsibilities we have as parents. To help our children feel safe. And all we have to do, is reach out to them.

And now back to real life...

I am sure there will be plenty to post on the economic crisis, elections, laundry etc. But for now, I am going to enjoy my last few hours of vacation and leave real life for tomorrow!

Meeting Characters

B has been to Disneyland before. But she was younger and who knows how much of it she remembers. I love this age for Disney, everything is so amazing and magical. I love watching the eyes of a toddler as they see, for the first time, singing birds or flying elephants. It is the best ever. I think I could sit for hours and watch little children’s faces as this magical world opens up to them.

For B, this time, she got to meet some of the characters that are only in her imagination. This set of pictures is from meeting Pooh Bear. B had picked a flower and was trying to hand it to him. She was a little shy at first but then, once she got closer, embraced Pooh Bear and wouldn’t let go. I kept telling her to let go, but she just stood there hugging him. It must have been a good two minutes before she let go and that was once I started tugging on her. She just loved him.

This next set of pictures is from meeting the princesses. If any of you ever get the chance to do the Princess Lunch at Ariel’s Grotto, I highly recommend it. Your child gets a crown of her own to decorate. Each of these 5 princesses will spend time with you at your table, except Ariel who you meet going into the dining room. They talk to your child and listen when she talks back… B wanted to show Snow White the birds hopping around. Snow White told her those were her friends and then told B the names of each of the birds. Sleeping Beauty showed B how their crowns were similar.

B watched carefully for each princess, but was looking the opposite direction when Belle approached. When B turned around, there was Belle. I wish I had a picture of this. B’s mouth dropped wide open, gave a little gasp and she smiled so big! It was the cutest thing ever, like her dream had come true just at that moment.

I don’t know, maybe I loved this so much because part of me hasn’t grown up and I still love the princesses myself. Anyway, here are the photos of B with “the girls”

Why We Do Disney

I am such a sucker for the whole Disney Experience. Add to that, these adorable expressions, I can't resist. I did try to get S in the pictures, but at age 13, he seems to think that all I want a picture of is his hand, elbow or back... Still, he had just as much fun as these guys. I will post more pictures later for those who have my picassa address.

The Power of Olfaction

We arrived to our hotel Sunday evening. We will sometimes do driving time for our vacations on Sunday (after church of course). We try hard to bring all the food we will need so we don’t have to stop to buy food on the Sabbath. There is probably some argument to be made at this point that we shouldn’t be checking into a hotel, or traveling, on the Sabbath, but that is a discussion for another day.

We got into our room, situated directly above Downtown Disney. We were all hungry from the drive and anxious to tear into the sandwiches we brought. As soon as I opened the door to the balcony, I knew it was a mistake. The most delicious smell EVER poured through the open door. Suddenly, all the kids were on the balcony wondering if we could eat whatever that was. I was so tempted to find that smell and indulge. It was a sweet, carmelly scent, almost like popcorn, but more of a pastry smell to it. I vowed that I was going to find it the next day and we could all partake of whatever it was.

In the morning, we were off to Disneyland. The smell wasn’t there and so I couldn’t track it. At the end of the day, no one had forgotten, so I assumed the task of tracking it down. It had already been a long day of walking, but I was willing to take one for the team, and find the smell. I was to take care of a few things downstairs, then I would purchase our evening treat. Because of where our room was located, it was a pretty good walk (maybe ¼ mile) from the lobby downstairs to our room. Even though we could “spit” on the vendors in Downtown Disney, to actually get there, we had to go down to the lobby, out and around making the trek at least ½ mile. So, I finished what I had to downstairs and started back upstairs, just as I reached our door, I realized I forgot the treat. Back I went. I reached Downtown Disney and began searching. I found the bakery I thought was responsible for that wonderful smell. I told them, I want whatever it is you are making that smells so good. The guy just laughed and pointed me to the Kettle Corn stand. Yup – kettle corn. That was it. The sugar from the kettle corn caramelized in the popper and they fanned it out to our room.

The popcorn was a whopping 6 dollars a bag (large of course) but I had to try the corn. The kettle corn angel filled my bag with fresh, warm kettle corn. Some of the pieces stuck together with caramelized sugar but it didn’t have any caramel on it. I had to taste it. Again. Again. More. More. As I took my walk back to the room, I didn’t care about my aching feet. I didn’t care that people were saying,”that is a huge bag of popcorn” or that they seemed to stare at the popcorn dust on my face. This was the best popcorn I ever had and nobody was going to ruin it for me. My kids were a little disappointed when I came back with just popcorn. I think everyone had envisioned pastries or cobbler or something. But once they tasted it, it became a popcorn frenzy. It became a contest to see who could take bigger handfuls of this golden goodie. Even my child who hates popcorn (and who shouldn’t have it because of braces) couldn’t get enough. So tonight, on our last night here, I had to get more popcorn for the trip home tomorrow. Bringing my grand total spent on popcorn to $24 – that is so pathetic – but delicious!

Our Thing...

I feel like it has been forever since I have blogged. I made myself not blog while on vacation with my family. I found it pathetically hard not to do. Blogging has become my connection to other mom’s – big people – who understand what it means to find frozen crickets in your freezer or toothpaste on the wall.

Still, I had a wonderful time with my family. I love this time of year where we say goodbye to all the daily do’s of life and just relax. No rules. Just fun. If we are tired, we sleep. If we want to watch Chip & Dale Rescue Rangers until our vision blurs we can. And, of course, if we want to play, there are acres of fun at our command. This is my favorite time of year. It is when I remember to have fun with my family – when I remember why I love each of them so much. We still get on each other’s nerve, and there is still the occasional “stop kicking your brother” nag… but most of the time, my unpleasant scowl, is from aching feet or too much sun in my eyes.

Every family has their thing… For my family, it is Disney. We are the biggest suckers out there.

The General Conference Challenge...

I snagged this idea off another blog... I have done it for years and I don't know why I didn't think of blogging it earlier.

I had a seminary teacher in high school that promised us if we would write down our heartfelt concerns and/or questions, take those concerns to the Lord in prayer and then watch conference with those concerns in our mind, that we would recieve an answer to every question or concern we have.

I tried it. It worked. That was 20 years ago and I still do it. It is a wonderful way to enjoy conference. I know that the Lord answers our prayers and this is one way He gives us direction.

So, I challenge each of you to try it. I dare you ;-).

For more information on General Conference and when it is broadcast click here.

Enjoy the best two days ever!!!

Sometimes, things just go wrong...

I have been blessed with five beautiful children. Each one is so full of life and personality. They bless my life in countless ways. My oldest was born about a year and a half after we were married, after two miscarriages. Thankfully, I haven’t had to experience a miscarriage since, but that doesn’t dull the memory of those heartbreaking times.

I remember, for the first pregnancy, going in for an ultrasound at about 10 weeks. I was so excited. I kept asking the technician if she saw twins. I was giddy. She had to excuse herself and got the doctor on the phone. That was when I heard that horrible word… miscarriage. I heard sentences swimming around in my mind as he talked. Something about spontaneous abortion, he mentioned D/C, a little more about resting and scheduling the procedure. What had gone wrong? What did I do? I kept asking myself these questions over and over.

For some reason, I had it in my head that I had done something to cause this. I had eaten something I shouldn’t, lifted something too heavy… maybe I was just built wrong. The phrase “at least you can get pregnant” brought little comfort to me from well meaning loved ones. I was sure I had done something wrong to cause this.

Then came the second miscarriage and I was sure I had done something.

A well meaning doctor told me that us kids “get pregnant too soon anyway” “wait a good year and a half before you try again”. I never was one to handle authority very well. Thankfully I didn’t take her advise. Ten and a half months after my visit to her, our oldest was born.

My story ends happily. But I will never forget those feelings of failure I experienced at the loss of those two pregnancies. And shame! I was so ashamed and embarrassed. Why is that?

I would never even begin to believe that a miscarriage is due to something that someone has done. I would never think that “so and so” ate too much fried food and that is why she can’t keep the pregnancy. In fact, I know very few people that would blame the mom -- or dad -- for a miscarriage. All I have ever felt for someone who is experiencing this horrible event, is sympathy.

So, why am I writing about this now? I happen to know someone who I love very much who is going through, yet another miscarriage. It isn’t fair. I don’t know why. But I do know that it is not her fault. There is nothing “wrong” with her. She isn’t a failure as a woman. She shouldn’t be embarrassed. But this is what we do to ourselves. We expect perfection and when we can’t achieve it, we try to find the reason why, then blame ourselves.

I wish so much I could change things for her. I wish she could sustain a pregnancy. I wish her heart wasn’t broken. I wish she didn’t have the emotional and physical pain that comes from having a miscarriage. But most of all, I wish that little "blaming voice" in the back of her head would disappear. Finding a solution to sustaining a pregnancy is different than assigning blame for why it didn’t take. I wish that she will know that difference. I wish the smartest doctors in the world were on her insurance – instead of “Dumb and Dumber.”

Not too long ago, our stake president spoke to us about surrendering our will to the Lord. That is difficult to do in the best of situations. But I can’t even imagine how difficult it is to do when it involves such an emotional issue. I do know, however, that the Lord knows everything. And He knows when it is that another little spirit will bless this family. But I ache for them. I know it is hard.

I often wonder why we must struggle through certain challenges. Heaven knows we all have our own. But, why does this dear person have to struggle through this? I don’t understand. But I do have faith that it will be for her good later. Still, those seem like empty words when trying to mend a broken heart.

I realize I can not say anything of comfort. I can not offer any Balm of Gilead. There is only One who can do that. AndHe has promised (John 14:27) He will not leave us comfortless. He tells us “And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours (D&C 78:18).

So, my dear loved one, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish I could make it better.