It seems I am constantly learning new lessons from this recent move we made and I truly don’t mean to belabor the issue. It is just that, in many ways, I feel like it has been one of the hardest things I have had to do. I have focused on how difficult it has been for the children (and it has been hard on the whole family), but in truth, it has been SO hard for me. Everything familiar is gone. And even though we have had a roof overhead, it has been hard for me to find “home” in our new location.
Similar to our Heavenly Home, our earthly home is a place where things are familiar and comfortable. A place where a person feel safe. Home is the place I always long to be, no matter what kind of excitement lies around the corner. Home is where the world stops at the door and comfort, only, enters. And even in all the chaos of life, that comfort seems to pulsate from my walls.
Home is the place where my heart beats a little stronger.
It occurred to me today that I have resisted those feelings of home. Our family has been showered with the goodness of new friends and new ward members. And yet, I have failed to see the hand of God in their actions. I have failed to recognize the true source of that feeling of “home” and resisted that feeling of comfort it provides.
As I sat in church today, I looked around me at our new ward family and realized that the Dear Lord has been sending people into our life to help us. And these wonderful people, whom I barely know, are His servants and our new family. My mind raced through the VERY brief history we have had in this ward and played images of outstretched hands of many people. From goodie drop-offs to tender notes of love, our home has been blessed and touched.
I was overwhelmed with the feeling that Heavenly Father is very aware of who I am. He knows exactly what I need and He knows my heart. I was reminded that He has tenderly guided every footstep in my life. He gently brought me into the arms of a loving, caring man who would take care of me. He thoughtfully sent me children who would make me stretch as an individual and teach me things I never knew I needed to know. He carefully planned where he wanted me, so that I could do the most growing. So I could become the person He needs me to be. He has affectionately placed me where I need to be.
I watched the faces of those around me and felt warmth overwhelm me as I realized I am home. And even though I did not know everyone, I felt a warm connection between each one. I realized that the true source of that feeling of “being home” is Heavenly Father. And, if I allow it to burn within me, I will feel at home no matter where I am.
Today, my heart beats a little stronger because I know I am home.
4 comments:
sometimes the baby steps or aha moments are the most important! I am glad things are starting to make sense!
Yeah! So glad you had this experience.
I know the feeling though, you almost feel like a traitor to your former home if you love the new one to much to quickly. Why we humans resist new experience is beyond me but I get highest of marks for my valiant resistance.
Love this post! And I gotta say, the whole scorpion thing would've freaked me right out too. Glad you're starting to feel at home!
well spoken...I am still creating my home over a year later wondering where everything is suppose to go but isn't it wonderful that Heavenly Father gives a chances to grow?! I know exactly how you feel about change. It isn't easy but when it's right...He is right there with you!
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