Saturday, July 17, 2010

Not so favorite things...

Ok – you knew it was coming. Because, even if I post my favorites like I am Julie Andrews, you all know I have my “non-favorites” brewing… And, those who know me well enough, know I feel a personal duty to share these things with my friends.

That’s you.

So, here you go… Things I don’t like so very much (in no particular order)

1. People who nose into your business like it is their personal job… Example: Standing in line to board the plane. We were flying the fancyeverybodyheardyourselfthroughthegatelikeacow airline so there were two lines; the cool line and the other one. I was in the other one. I knew that. However, I also had a small child with me so I stood halfway between the two lines… wondering if they would have pity on the “families traveling with small children”. (Technically, our tickets were split over the two lines, so I could have gone in either line.)  A strange gal in the "cool line", stopped her conversation with her friend mid sentence to look over at my ticket and tell me to get back into the correct line. Immediately, of course, she turned right back to her conversation. "Hello, nice to meet you too," I thought.

2. Angry drivers with their fist on the horn. Maybe I make them all angry but car horns don’t have to sound mean and angry. I can make mine sound nice and pleasant. “Bee Beep – just a friendly reminder that the light is green.” What is up with this blaring “BLAHHHPHHHH-HONNNNKK-IMA-WHINEY-HEAD” sound. You know, I can’t turn right on red when the sign says not to. And generally, parking lots have a really SLOW speed limit.

3. Food in the bathroom. Yeah, so I kinda have adopted the belief that there are just some places a person shouldn’t eat. Can anyone explain to me why my children would need a Costco sized peanut butter jar in their bathroom? The whole jar was full… except for the two spoonfuls scooped out by "whichever-child" needed to snack on peanut butter IN THE BATHROOM. Oh yeah – and the lid was left off. I could almost see the potty germs collecting in the peanut butter. I threw it out. Gross.

4. Sleeveless tops. Not trying to hurt anyone’s feelings here, but seriously, I hate seeing peoples armpits. Granted, sleeveless is better than topless, so I guess I will just have to pick my battles. But honestly folks, there are some people that should ALWAYS wear sleeves. Just to list a couple… dental assistants, food servers and hair stylists. Oh, and pretty much any athlete. Sometimes the reach isn’t pretty, people. Especially if your Speed Stick has caked onto your underarms.

5. Gum. We’ve already gone over that.

6. Short, short skirts or dresses. Again. Not trying to offend anyone. But, if the “dress” is shorter than the tip of your fingers when they are at your side – it’s a shirt. AND… if the skirt is so short that you can’t sit or bend without embarrassing people – well then… it’s just a loin cloth. Barely.

7. Cordless phones. Handy if you can find them. But I am pretty sure the Laundry Monster is in cahoots with the Cordless Phone Guy. It doesn’t matter that we have SIX cordless phones. They are always lost. I have found them in dresser drawers, laundry baskets, on the swingset outside, in the freezer, in the car and even ON THE ROOF.

8. People who cut in line. On purpose. Because their schedule is supermostimportant! Once, in the pharmacy line to get medicine for my feverish, crying baby, I had a lovely lady cut right in front of me because she was “not going to take that long.” Boy, did she huff and puff when the checker wouldn’t serve her first. Then, just the other day, a nice old man walked through the opposite end of the checkout lane (so he could be in front of me). I only had 6 items but I guess it scared him anyway. When the checker told him he needed to get in line, he snapped at her that he WAS in line. She rung him up first and really, it didn’t ruin my day. I just want to know what on earth is going through someones mind when they justify something like that?

9. Walmart. Enough said.

10. Men and hot sauce. Really, I am not talking about a specific man here, because I would never do that on my public blog. But seriously guys… if you know it’s going to burn coming out, DON’T PUT IT IN!!

Oh well. What are you going to do? I guess I’ll just have to look over my favorite list again. What are your "not so favorite" things?


S'mee said...

seriously you hit on a lot of my favs... except the gum, although I have rules about gum that must be followed or it gets ugly fast.

I have a problem with mispronunciation from person who "should" know better, such as speech teachers, English majors, news casters, etc. The word, folks, is pronounced "im por tant or im port ant" not "im por dant" there is no "d" in the word anywhere.

Dental hygiene. can't help it- lease brush your teeth, thank you. it hurts to look at your gums.

Cleavage. Seriously? After a certain size and or age (because I have seen some very large 9 year olds) no one wants to see that anymore. 1/2 inch or so, o.k. people will get the idea you have fabulous gals, 2,3,4,5 inches of cleavage is just disgusting. eeew.

Beth said...

Good list! I would add people who smoke and act like it's their "right" to stand at the entrance of a business and blow their smoke when I have to walk. Ugh.

Shellee said...

Oh, we are in agreement with this list. I agree with 9 whole heartedly. There's a reason exists. That place is full of the rudest people I've ever met.

A few things to add from my list.

Women who wear skimpy clothes and then get furious when men look at them. Seriously, if you put it out there~ they're going to look. Kind of goes with the above cleavage comment.

People who give canned answers. I don't want to hear "just pray about it" as advice. It's kind of like telling me to brush my teeth. It's always been a part of my life, why do I need to be reminded?!?

Laurie said...

Oh man I'm getting upset just reading this. As wonderful as people are individually I can't stand them collectively. I get so miffed!