Thursday, April 15, 2010


I held my little one close this morning. She had awakened a little early and caught me reading on the living room chair.

She didn’t say anything. Just climbed on my lap and cuddled in.

I could smell her warm hair, a mix between “Suave for kids” and sweat. She sucked at her tongue… something she has done since she was born.

The quiet of the dark morning was only broken with her deep breaths and the sound of her tongue.

Her eyes heavy as she drifted back to sleep.

And I wondered, is this really the last little one I will raise? Where did the baby go? Because I am pretty sure last time I checked, she was a baby.

In fact, when did any of them grow up?

My thoughts delicately tickled the memories I have of each child, trying to find the moment when they each grew up.

When was it exactly?

At what point did they learn to make their own sandwich, comb their own hair or call up their friends when they are bored? When did I switch from being “mommy” to “mom?”

I am certain it couldn’t have happened. Wasn’t I just rocking them to sleep, singing songs I made up to keep them from crying.

I really was just packing them around on my hip. Promise.

My babies range from preschool age to teenager and you know what? When I look at their faces, I just see my little babies. The ones I taught to talk, walk and giggle.

I see my 14 year old as a toddler, announcing to the world, that he “is the cutest boy in the world.” I see my 12 year old, his deep, penetrating blue eyes, fixed on my, holding my face in his two- year-old sticky hands. I remember my 10 year old, still small enough to curl up on a chair, falling asleep as he “read” his books – where ever he was. And I remember my 7 year old, playing for hours on end with his trains and his pacifier in his mouth.

Then I look at my 3 year old, and I think, is this really going to be just a memory in a couple years?

I have been blessed with such beautiful, wonderful children. Children who make perfect memories as they grow.

Now, if only I could talk them into growing up slower…


Jill said...

what a cool post, made me contemplate my own kids and my awesome memories of them as they grow up, all too fast. Thanks again.

sweetvictorya said...

This is what I think all the time!!

Emmy said...

Oh this is so beautiful but almost makes me sad.. it does go too fast.

Laurie said...

It's heartwrenching! Just grow a little slower pleeeaaaase!

Teanne said...

Wow. You brought tears to my eyes. That was so beautifully written. Great message to treasure every moment. I was looking at my little girls hands the other day. One of them has hands that still look like baby hands and the other one has little girl hands and I thought "When did that happen?" And I wanted to stop time and not let my baby's hands change into little girl hands. haha.
I love them and there are great things about each stage. Sometimes I think, Oh, it'll get easier when they are past this stage.. when they are older... but it is good to treasure every stage and season of life. :)