Thursday, January 15, 2009

Be seated, but be careful!

(Not for the Feeble Stomached)

I had to use the staff bathroom the other day at the kids elementary school. There are a total of. maybe, two male teachers. ALL over the room were signs reminding the men to “be a sweetie, and wipe the seatie” And other such reminders.

I had to laugh.

Seriously, for a gender that has a history of hunting – thus aiming – there seems to be a slight problem with the delivery in the bathroom.

I have 4 boys. 4 wonderful, aimless, boys. (And that is only #1 of 2 problems!!!)

It is amazing how easy it is for me to take advantage of the simple luxuries of life.

Like sitting on a dry toilet seat. One that hasn’t been spattered by your offspring’s urine.

I have tried to teach them: Lift, Aim, Wipe, Close.

I have left notes.

Step by step instructions.


They involved how to bend knees just so. How to “shake” their part just right so nothing drips. How to wipe the toilet seat with clean toilet paper. How to flush.

I have used cheerios for target practice.

Given rewards for clean seats.

Called them back to clean up a mess.


My boys are smart, capable beings. I believe in them. I know they can do this. Yet, they STILL leave the seat DOWN and cover it with pee.


I am not asking much. I just want to keep urine off the floor, shower curtain, toilet seat, walls, cabinets and trash pail.

Really? Is that too much for a mother to ask?

You know, having 4 boys has really tested my limits. My patience. I have learned I have a long way to go. Hopefully, soon, I can start learning that lesson on a dry toilet seat.



queenbee4 said...

For this reason, I am grateful I only have one son. I don't know if I could handle more. You are my hero.

Brooke said...

I'm with queen. I only have one, but one is enough. I insist that he never use MY bathroom, since every time I go in the kids bathroom, there is urine in the garbage, all over the floor, ON THE COUNTER. How? HOW?

S'mee said...

3 boys, 2 girls.

Teenage girls having to share a bathroom with boys may be the answer. (Imagine the hilarious hi-jinx that ensue when it's the girls' turn to clean the bathroom! FUN!)

That or standing quietly behind the shower curtain while they "go". The Stepping out before they can leave (and this is key) with the largest pair of scissors you can find, snipping them in the air as you kindly ask them to clean up their own mess.

Just a few helpful suggestions. ; )

Tink said...

This seriously made me laugh! I have two boys--my hubby and son. Thankfully I don't have to sit DOWN on a wet seat, but I seriously wonder about the aiming thing when I go to clean around the toilets! Cute post.

Rachelle said...

Oh, Kathy I know exactly what you mean except my boys actually do lift the seat. The part that drives me crazy is the urine all over the outside of the toilet, the shower curtain (or tub, if the curtain isn't closed), the waste basket, the floor, the floor mat. It makes the whole bathroom stink. Seriously why is it so hard to hit the water, it's not like the whole is tiny! I loved S'mee's comments! My older girls try to ignore it but I may have them start doing the hiding in the shower thing or not letting them out. Good ideas!

Sarah said...

Oh, I can SO relate...I have 4 boys and a daughter too! (She's the second though.) Will I ever find a dry toliet seat? What about the toothpaste too? I swear EVERY time I go in the bathroom there is more toothpaste on the sink than in the tube!

Tina ♥ said...

You are too funny. I have 3 girls, and 1 boy who's still a baby, so look what I get to look forward to.

Diane said...

I have 3 boys and a husband, I could have written that post, but you did it so much better.

I want my own bathroom.

CJ, the Purple Diva said...

BAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAA! This was freaking hysterical!
I have 2 sons, had a foster son, and one husband! NONE OF THEM have learned how to aim! NONE OF THEM!
If yours learn and do it, can you please share your instructions! LOL said...

I hear this from most of my friends that are mothers of boys. I have to say I like the scissors idea. HA