Thursday, June 9, 2011

My Sweet Children

So it’s  3:00 am. I am having yet another sleepless night. And yet, even though I am so sleepy I am typing with my eyes closed, I can’t actually fall asleep. Funny how that works.

My thoughts are on my children, as they often are on sleepless nights. I have such beautiful, wonderful children. I have been so blessed. Each is presented with his or her own struggles, each with his or her own strengths. And I love them for it.

This young man here just turned 16. He has entered a world of driving and dating and being mostly grown up. I am not sure I like it at all. I still remember bringing him home from the hospital. His chubby little self depending so fiercely on me for his existence. It’s hard to accept that this sweet boy is actually not very dependent on me any more. But, with all that teenager-ism brings, he is still such a tender young man. He conveys an emotion when he plays the piano that can only be called a gift. He is a natural in computer programing and writing. Always protective of his infant siblings, helping them grow. Of course, Ms. Princess has his heart. Those two have such a priceless bond. It’s so wonderful to watch. I miss him as a child, but love watching him grow into a man.

 Then there is Staff Srgt. Huzzah; who earned his name for being so encouraging of his family and friends. “You can do it” and “Way to go” seem to be his mantra. He often plays with his younger siblings games invented by his comprehensive imagination. His large stature houses a bigger heart. The Staff Srgt is always making someone smile and feel better about themselves. He has a natural gift of humor. This kid is so FUNNY. Turning 14 next month, he is beginning to find his place in life; beginning to learn about the things that give him confidence and bring him joy. The Staff Srgt is always ready with a hug and a kind word.

Spiderman is smack in the middle of this craziness. Sometimes he gets over-spoken by the older boys but if you get him alone, he can talk your ear off. He is fascinated by weather and maps… ever since he was a pre-schooler, he has been helping us find our way on vacations with his maps. He is turning 12 in just a few days and I find myself wondering when that happened. Seems like just barely he was a chubby little baby; so chubby, the doc said, that he couldn’t even roll over. Spiderman is a friend magnet.  Partially because of his obsession of PLAY and mostly because he can make anyone feel like they are his best friend, Spiderman always has an abundance of friends. There is such a gentle tenderness about this boy. I can tell he is meant for great things. I know he absorbs and feels more than I realize. He is quick to access the "feeling" in a room and can just as quickly feel the Spirit.

This little man is my last boy. After I had decided that there were not going to be any more little ones in our home, I felt his spirit urging me to decide otherwise. I can’t describe it other than to say, I knew he wanted to come join his brothers – badly. The Gladiator has always amazed me with his ability to identify his feelings. As soon as he could talk, he was telling me that he felt “so happy” or “really mad.” He feels things on a huge level. And I love him for that. He was born with a green thumb and a love for all life – even the furry kind. Sometimes he stops what he is doing just to give me a hug. With his 9th birthday approaching next month, I fear those days of spontaneous hugs will become less and less frequent. And this boy’s faith! It leaves me speechless. He is so innocent and honest in heart. It is no wonder that our Savior beckoned us to “become as a little child.”

Finally, Ms. Princess. Turning 5 mid-September, she just barely missed the cut off date for kindergarten. So, we took the test and she passed.. Of course she passed, she is too smart for her own good. She can count to 100, do addition and subtraction, identify the whole alphabet, she is beginning to read and she can comprehend an unsettling amount of information. She got nervous before her test so she said a prayer. I can feel Heavenly Father smiling at her when she prays and I know for certain He hears her! Even though she is “ready” for kindergarten, I am not sure I am. I am going to miss her immensely. She has been my shadow for so long, I am not sure what I am going to do for 7 long, lonely hours without her. She has picked up sewing already – with a real machine. True, some of her “projects” are difficult to identify right now, but she loves it. And I love her loving it because sewing is so much a part of me. I know Heavenly Father loves me, because he sent me her. The sweet little cherry on top of four different flavors of rich ice cream.

I am sure many moms feel this way, but I often wonder why Heavenly Father entrusted me with such wonderful children. I am in awe of them daily. I pray that they will grow into the people they are meant to be, in spite of my misgivings.

 My life and heart are full!


Suzee Sanders said...

When did your little boys and beautiful baby grow into these wonderful human beings? I have really missed watching them grow up since you left our ward. You and your family are amazing.

Tami said...

You are a great mom Kathy--and you guys have raised beautiful children! Isn't it amazing how different and unique each of our children are? They are certainly sent here with different talents and gifts for a purpose! It is such an immense responsibility...but it brings me so much joy when I see each of them succeed in different ways!

Beth said...

goregous family!

Can I just say that I think you should keep her home? I so wish I would have kept Lydia home an extra year...such a precious time! She is ready...but you would get bonus time! lol

Please don't take that as I know better and I am condemming your choice...I was just offering my opinion!