Saturday, June 26, 2010

14 horus down, 20 to go...

I’ve been in a van before. It’s big. There is room to move. Sure, it might be difficult to park, but does it really matter if you can stretch your legs properly? Still, we turned our heads aside from this roomier option.


We have a minivan… which is an entirely inappropriate name for the vehicle. For some reason, the term “minivan” implies happy children driving in rainbow crested lands while birds sing and a gentle breeze blows through the sunroof.

Not so much.

Sometimes, I to refer the minivan as the sound vortex. Or boxing ring. Or, most unfortunately, the gas chamber.

The little men that created the minivan, wearing their white lab coats with crisp white collars and matching clipboards, tell us the minivan is most appropriate vehicle is for our growing family. In fact, there are a plethora of studies proving the same thing.

But I have a secret for you.

Minivans aren't made to accommodate 5 children for any length of time.

At least not peacefully.

There's nothing quite like a big, hairy adolescent leg in your face or losing a shoe for the 17th time to fry every last nerve. (Really, how do you lose a shoe in a car?)

I am willing to bet that none of our little friends in their lab coats ever sat in the back of a minivan with an 8 year old who chronically had to use the bathroom or a three year old who insists on singing Veggietale songs -- at the top of her lungs. For 14 hours.

Well, I have.

I am pretty sure I never saw this side of the minivan in those happy little commercials.

Alas, I was seduced by the bucket seats, rear A/C controls and DVD player. I chose the vehicle that was easy to park over the one where I could hide noisy kids in the back. I chose automatic sliding doors over the extra leg room.

Curse you, minivan, Curse you.

You beguiled me.

4 comments:

Beth said...

Where are you headed? I liked our minivan when we had it...but only had 2 of 3 kids when we had it!

Connie said...

I feel your pain! I am pregnant with our baby #4 and feel like we're just about to outgrow my beloved Honda Odyssey. It's been really great to us, never a problem. I took one of the front bucket seats out to leave plenty of room for groceries, or for a cooler & such when we travel. But it's simply going to be cramped quarters once this #4 comes along. But we're going to make it work, like it or not. My hubby's not done with college yet and my minivan is just about paid off. Can't beat not having a car payment! :D

likeschocolate said...

I totally agree with you. I think each child needs there on bench. I am a mother of 3 and feel our mini-van is too small at times. Don't you just love it when they kick you in the back for hours on end as you go on a vacation thinking everyone is going to have a good time and in reality no one is having a good time.

Christa Johnson said...

Well, I chose the other option. I have a 12 passenger white van and it is great sometimes.. especially for long trips. Now for driving around Gilbert... it is definitely not my favorite and I would definitly go for the minivan then!