Painful Realizations

I have gathered a list of things I am realizing daily... enjoy.

• I am at an age where I should never jump on the trampoline without first emptying my bladder.
• Never glue on scout patches if you ever intend on removing them later.
• If I clean all day long, every day, taking no breaks, my house will STILL be messy. 
• Check your bedding BEFORE you are ready for bed… you never know when a child has decided to stop a bloody nose with your pillow.
• It is possible to power nap at stop lights.
• If I put all willing kids in my family sized shower, I can get three showers done at once – and blog at the same time (sitting at the counter in the bathroom with them of course) Please don’t judge – it’s been a LONG day.
• Just because you have told your son you will be returning the "too-small" pants he just tried on, don’t assume he knows not to run through the mud in them.
• Just when you think nothing grosser can come from your puppy... surprise!
• There are worse things than naked Barbies.
• If you are trying to water fight with your son, be sure not to aim a strong stream directly at his eye. He will cry. You will feel guilty.
• Don’t tell your smart-alecky son he is growing whiskers unless you want to hear the same thing about you.
• Our family is, if truth be told, filling the landfills all on our own – and probably killing all the dolphins in the process.
• If it looks like a dead bird, it probably is. Don’t approach.
• There is no such thing as a “Dish Fairy” only a “Dish Nymph” – and he hates me.
• The "Fresh Beat Band" is strangley intriguing and they really do have "Loco Legs"
• A laundry room really can, in fact, smell like sauerkraut.