Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Painful Realizations

I have gathered a list of things I am realizing daily... enjoy.
  • I am at an age where I should never jump on the trampoline without first emptying my bladder.
  • Never glue on scout patches if you ever intend on removing them later.
  • If I clean all day long, every day, taking no breaks, my house will STILL be messy. 
  • Check your bedding BEFORE you are ready for bed… you never know when a child has decided to stop a bloody nose with your pillow.
  • It is possible to power nap at stop lights.
  • If I put all willing kids in my family sized shower, I can get three showers done at once – and blog at the same time (sitting at the counter in the bathroom with them of course) Please don’t judge – it’s been a LONG day.
  • Just because you have told your son you will be returning the "too-small" pants he just tried on, don’t assume he knows not to run through the mud in them.
  • Just when you think nothing grosser can come from your puppy... surprise!
  • There are worse things than naked Barbies.
  • If you are trying to water fight with your son, be sure not to aim a strong stream directly at his eye. He will cry. You will feel guilty.
  • Don’t tell your smart-alecky son he is growing whiskers unless you want to hear the same thing about you.
  • Our family is, if truth be told, filling the landfills all on our own – and probably killing all the dolphins in the process.
  • If it looks like a dead bird, it probably is. Don’t approach.
  • There is no such thing as a “Dish Fairy” only a “Dish Nymph” – and he hates me.
  • The "Fresh Beat Band" is strangley intriguing and they really do have "Loco Legs"
  • A laundry room really can, in fact, smell like sauerkraut.


Denise @ Sunflowers, Chocolate and Little Boys said...

I love the list...and it is ALL very very true. And don't worry about the shower thing, I do that all the time!!

Emmy said...

Loved this list!!!
My husband is always taking power naps at the red lights, "wake me up when it turns green" he will say. I have been so tempted to tell him it is green early so many times, but know that it would probably result in an accident so always have to resist.

And I agree, I secretly like the Fresh Beat Band too. :)

Salsa Mama said...

I must agree, almost every single one of those applies to me, too! You're not alone...say it one more time, etc. (can you hear the music in the background?) :)

Julia Everts said...

Your posts always make me smile...and laugh. Keep your thoughts coming, you never know when they'll make someones day!

That Girl said...

I have no words. Only snorts. Which don't translate in a comment box.

Teanne said...

So funny! And so true! lol. I can relate to the one about continuously cleaning but it's still a mess. haha

Carin said...


heather said...

I love it! Very funny!

Laurie said...


Fiauna said...

My favorite post EVER!!!

Square Root of Family said...

I think this is the funniest thing I have ever read! I know there is a story behind some of them, so I'm guessing there is one behind them all, which is even funnier.

pan x 8 said...

Way too cool...
I jump on the trampoline anyway..
On the scouts shirts I use that magic sticky stuff from the scout shop..
No matte what the house is a mess..
I always have to check for crumbs in my bed. Apparently that's my 2-yr-old's favorite place to go eat his crackers..
My husband can attest to power naps at red lights..
LOL at the rest of the list!

Synergy Girl said...

Oh dear....I think the painful part is how RELATABLE these realizations really are!!! AHHHH!!! You have the BEST sense of humor, and I love the way you think....!!