Wednesday, September 9, 2009

A NOSE by any other name...

I hate elevators. Don’t get me wrong… anything that keeps me from climbing stairs is shear genius. However, these poorly ventilated boxes tend to retain smell.

From everyone.

Whether it is the ripeness of a baby’s diaper or the lingering scent from an overly perfumed college student. It’s there. It sits there; The Smell. Often curing in the Arizona heat. Waiting to test my “breath holding” skills.

And then, mix a little of the stale smell with the fresh smells that walk onto the elevator with you… it is enough to make anyone pass out.

I walked onto an elevator the other day with 6 other people. Three of them were older men, two (maybe) in their sixties and one (definitely-maybe) in his eighties. The other three were women.

The following conversation still disturbs me.

Lady #1 – Mmmm, one of you boys smell good. (by the way, NOBODY smelled good)

Lady #2 – (sniffing and sighing) Yeah

60 Yr old man #1 – (pointing to his 60 yr old buddy) Must be Jim, he always smells good.

60 yr old Jim – Can’t be me, I have been sweating.

80 yr old man – Me either, I have been sweating too.

Lady #1 – Well, one of y’alls smells nice.

80 year old man – I just smell like sweat.

60 yr old man #1 – You never know, they like that smell too.


Do men REALLY think women like the smell of sweat? Or worse, are there really women that are going around making men believe that they like that smell???

I was doing my best to hold my breath and, once the elevator stopped, was quite inconsiderate as I hurried from my temporary prison in front of all the sweet, smelly elderly people.


Carin said...

ROFL!!! maybe when you get to be that old and you are trying to pick up old men you have to come up with some big ole lies or maybe if he doesn't smell like bengay then he smells good.

Emmy said...

Too funny! There are advantages of having almost no sense of smell. :)
That would have been fun to be there to hear all of that.

Beth said...

GAG! blech GAG!

Fiauna said...

Ha ha ha. Ha ha HA! I can't stop laughing!

T and T Brunson said...

I REALLY need that laugh!!! Too funny!

Connie said...

My husband worked for 2 days to fix our water heater, which happens to be in the deep corner of our notevenclosetobeingveltelated garage. It was sweltering hot in our garage, which made him sweat a LOT, and the more he sweats, the more I gag. He got mad at me for asking (kindly, yet firmly) him to take at least 7 showers over the course of those 2 days. Seriously, sweat = nasty! I think sweat is sexy only when it's on TV. :D